Our destination
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Our destination
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Today we left Boston in a driving rain. It rained all night the night before, but rain doesn't slow down taxi cabs in Boston nor does it disturb the operation of the airport. Our tickets were frequent flier awards, which meant we had to pay the price of a diversion and layover in Dallas in order to get to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Jackson Hole is within the boundaries of Grand Teton National Park, which makes it a good jumping-off point for a trip to the Grand Tetons and Yellowstone, which borders the Grand Tetons to the north.
The Greeks Make Some Headway
My airplane reading was all about the early history of maps, mapmaking and mapmakers. The subject may initially strike some (such as Karen) as rather dull but in fact it makes for a good story, because it can be told as a tightly wound tale of history, scientific discovery, characters, and adventure. Like most of science, the initial steps beyond cave scribbling were made by the Nile river civilizations, then picked up and significantly improved and codified by the Greeks. The Greeks, in fact, knew that the earth was round and were even able to estimate its circumference to within about 15%. This knowledge was subsequently lost to the western world when the Christians burned the priceless contents of Ptolemy's vast library in the 4th century (tens of thousands of hand-made, irreplacable volumes were burned). The Greek masters were kept alive by the Muslim scholars, and they rested for a thousand years while the Christians distracted themselves with legend, fantasy, and conjecture.
The
Christians Throw It All Away
Christian maps of the Middle Ages almost always included two features which are bound to amuse the modern reader : Paradise, and the armies of Gog and Magog. The location of Paradise was determined from scrutiny of the Bible to be somewhere to the East of Asia. It was, of course, unreachable except by special permission of the Lord God, he having constructed such nefarious obstacles to entry as walls of fire 1000 feet high, and raging rivers so loud they would deafen any man who tried to paddle up them. And, if you've ever tried to paddle up anything but the most gently flowing stream, you can appreciate that the paddling alone would present a great challenge of its own. That these obstacles also made Paradise impossible to leave was apparently not considered an issue; those lucky enough to enter Paradise had no reason to leave, even for vacation. Gog and Magog were the prophesied agents of Armageddon, waiting with terrible armies to sweep across the civilized world and unleash a Very Bad Day upon all but the Saved. Even such enlightened men as Bacon, deservedly credited as the inventor of the scientific method, belived that Gog and Magog resided in unknown lands to the north and east, where they scratched and scrabbled at a mighty wall of iron and bronze behind which they had been barricaded by Alexander the Great. (The location of Gog and Magog on some maps suggests that Alexander's wall was inspired by the Great Wall of China.)
The Christians Get Lost a Lot and Reconsider
Once again, for a time the earth was believed to be flat, a literal interpretation of a biblical description of the world as a flat tabernacle (table), upon which the stars burned as candles in a candelabra. Middle Aged spririts were lifted by tales of Prester John, a powerful Christian king who, if he could be located, might prove to be man enough to stand up to the satanic bullying of Gog and Magog. Quests for Prester John lasted for several centuries. He was never found, but looking for him did serve to get the normally cloistered, sedentary monks out in the fresh air, treading the roads of the world, and thinking that perhaps the injection of a few facts into their maps might not be such an objectionable idea after all.
The evening of our arrival, we get to spend a little time in the town of Jackson. Mountain High Pizza Pie proves to be a good choice. Somehow, mountain pizza rarely disappoints. Try it yourself and tell me if I am wrong. I consider the dozen or so permanent residents of Jackson to be quite lucky indeed, being able to ski right into town after a day up on the slopes.
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| Yankees Suck! It's a small world |
After taking everyone's money, John D. Rockefeller started giving it all back again. One of the ways he did this was to buy up all the land around the Grand Teton mountains so that he could give it all to the government to form a park. Some of the land he purchased included a small town and a development of cabins. The town was razed in 1956 but the cabins were moved 7 miles down the road to the new settlement of Colter Bay Village. These cabins remain and I am sitting in one now. Colter Bay lies on a finger of the man-made Jackson Lake.
Grand Teton National Park, Colter Bay Cabins
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Hiking from
Colter Bay to Jackson Lake Lodge
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In addition
to the activities pictured here, these horses also travel on the nearby
trails (making them somewhat less navigable for the pedestrian)
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Obvious
in retrospect : Trails emanating from a horse corrall are horse trails.
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Yoga and the
outdoors, perfect together
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Upon driving 45 miles per hour past a black hulking wooly creature 10 feet from the road (partially obscured):
Q: What the f**k is that? A: It looks like a giant.... bison!
Grand Teton Nat'l Park, Colter Bay Cabins
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Behind this
rock there are clearly at least 4 bears
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'My Favorite Things', with the following suggested verses:
(for the people) Tailgaters with tickets Speeders overheating Free campground shuttles with plenty of seating Sullen teens riding horses and having to sing These are a few of my favorite things (for the bears) Mountain raspberries, lovely and red Elk that randomly fall over dead We eat it and guard it and watch from afar If you drive in between us we jump in your car Mile-high mountain pizza Buffets with fresh bacon Beer that someone else brings When the moose charges When the bear pounces When the beavers gnaw And the trees fall
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In this way
you can make yourself invisible to bears
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When the horse rears And the weasel sneers I simply remember my bear-fighting spray And then I don't feel... so... gray
uponst ( up-onst )
Example : 'Be careful not to let the M&Ms fall uponst the forest floor.'
On
the Trail
As I walk-ed through the forest, I came upon a burning moose. I was afeared, but the burning moose spake: 'Do not be afraid, for I bring good tidings. The fire you see is not burning moose-flesh, rather it is a holy fire. Go forth and spread the following word, for I have died for the sins of all moose. The moose of the world should awaken each morning full of gladness, and venture forth in an unpredictable and ornery manner to wade through the ponds, wallow in the brine, and feast on the water-dwelling foliage of the land. For the moose are my chosen ones, and pilgirms shall come from lands both near and far to gaze upon and honor them. And should this gazing and honoring grow tiresome, or should one appear desirable as a mate, they should not hesitate to vigorously chase these pilgrims. For this day I also bestow upon the moose the ability to run 35 miles per hour, which for a swamp-dwelling and pigeon-toed creature will surely be recognized as a miracle.' And can it be denied that it has come to pass just as the burning moose foretold?
Climbing up from Jenny Lake to Inspiration Point
A mother to her 2 year old son, husband, and 2 or 3 other kids
"No we're not stopping here. You can rest for a minute, but don't get comfortable."
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Hot springs, West Thumb, Yellowstone. The different colorations are due to minerals in the water, and microorganisms that thrive at the specific temperature of the pool (which can range from lukewarm to boiling hot). There are also some hot springs under the lake, which is an old caldera. |
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Yellowstone, Roosevelt Lodge
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This trail
is clearly a loop on our map. It has also clearly come to an end here..
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In the Lake Yellowstone Hotel
Two ladies, coming off a tour bus:
"Well, that was pretty good."
"Pretty good, yeah. Pretty good for what it is... Not as good as Disney World though."
"Well, no, of course not as good as that."
One has to wonder, what criteria would one use to compare Yellowstone to Disney World? Is it in the rules that you can only factor in what you can see from a bus tour? How do friendly, stuffed, imaginary animals that love to meet and greet you compare to real wild animals that seek only to be left alone (eating or stomping you coming in a distant but not ignorable second)?
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Testing the
beer-chilling performance of a Yellowstone stream. (It's weird how you
can't see the water in the picture, my frosty friends here are sitting
in 4 inches of it).
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The longer we are here, the more significant this quote seems to me. People really do think of a National Park as sort of a sub-category within Places Built For Our Amusement. Thus, it follows that feeding bears, petting bison, taking photos with snakes, should be perfectly safe and reasonable things to do. In no self-respecting Amusement Park would a bit of innocent feeding, petting, or photo-shooting constitute a risk to life and limb. Nor should it ever be a problem to abruptly halt your vehicle in the middle of a road. Surely everyone else on the Drive Your Car Around The Park ride will want to do the same. When it comes to driving, people seem to be operating in sort of a nether-region somewhere in between 'real driving', and driving those cars in amusement parks which ride on rails and the steering wheel is just for show. And who can blame them? It's complicated. What do you make of a ride that looks like real cars on real roads, and yet there is plainly a moose (honey is that a mooseketeer?) standing by the side of the road?
This visitor center has lots to offer, including plenty of trail maps and guides, and a small wildlife museum. But, there is one absolute must-see reason to go there. All over Grand Teton and Yellowstone parks, visitors are constantly informed through signs and leaflets of the dangers of approaching wildlife. "Bison/Bears/Moose are not domesticated. They are not tame. They do not consider themselves to be here for your amusement, they are not friendly, they are not snuggly, they do not want to be in a picture with you, they don't have cute cartoon voices in spite of the fact that yes, they do have furry pettable noses." This is all well and good, and quite believable, but as you drive to the park it is quite clear that many visitors do not get the message. The sight of 25 parked cars and a field full of tourists surrounding a large forest creature is not an unusual one. Ah, if they would only see the video tape that the tourist center has compiled. Playing continuously, the tape shows tourist after tourist being punished by bison for their bad behavior. Tourists trying to get away by hiding behind trees; the bison hurls a man 8 feet into the tree branches for his trouble. A man encourages his children to get out of the car and take a picture with a bison; the littlest one comes away with a bison butt in the back, and I feel quite sure that she has never come back to Yellowstone again (she appears to be unhurt, luckily). A crowd of at least 40 people surrounding a bison in a parking lot turns into a mini running of the bulls. All in all, not the sort of entertainment that we usually get from the park service (imagine what other sobering material they must have). As Karen points out, you can get quite a good mauling for your $20 in Yellowstone.
Tower-Roosevelt, Yellowstone
The lodging here has a very rustic and basic feel. We liked it a lot. The smallness of the place, especially compared to our next 2 nights in Mammoth Springs, was very pleasant, and our cabin had a small stream running by which chilled an excellent beer in about 20 minutes. That night we roasted marshmallows in the wood stove in our room, then turned in for what proved to be a very chilly night. If I had to choose my least favorite item of clothing to put on ice cold, I would have to choose pants, even over underwear.
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Yellowstone, Mammoth Hot Springs Cabins
Tower-Roosevelt, Yellowstone
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The suspension
bridge on the Hellroaring Creek trail
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We set off around 10 AM for the intimidatingly named Hellroaring Creek. The hike was a quick descent down a canyon wall, then a crossing over a very solid suspension bridge (not the Amazon rope bridge I had imagined). From there, we passed through Bear Ambush Canyon, then over Snarling Badger Hill, and finally into Stampeding Buffalo Plain. A lone coyote loped across the field about 60 yards away from us and disappeared over a hill...
Perplexingly, the trail ended before reaching the creek, so we began a small odyssey hoping to rest by its waters. After a short traverse across Hidden Rattlesnake Glen, we descended about halfway down a 15 foot slippery slope before realizing that we were entering Mosquito Feast Cove, and we beat a hasty retreat. Undaunted, we set off the other way down the creek and came upon a rivulet of trail which appeared to lead to the creek-shore. When we reached the creek, we were happy to see a nice shady tree in the midst of the plain. Happy, that is, until we found the clean-picked quarter-buffalo carcass directly underneath it. Awakened to the presence of this quarter-carcass, it was immediately clear that much of the rest of the buffalo, mostly in bone form but with noteable instances of fur and the barest remnants of flesh, was spread around our immediate vicinity. We took a moment to enjoy our discovery, much as the space marines in Aliens look about in wonderment as they realize that the passageway they are standing in is lined with the bodies of human settlers, converted into the Alien equivalent of beef jerky. Then, when the expected armada of angry bears failed to materialize over a nearby hill, we took a few photos and headed for home.
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Mammoth Springs, Yellowstone
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Yellowstone, Mammoth Hot Springs Cabins
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Mammoth Springs, Yellowstone
After our success with the afternoon weather on Thursday we set out for the 4.2 mile Bunsen mountain trail. The trail starts out with a mile or so of sloping burnt-forest trail, then becomes steeper and more treed as you make the meat of the 1500 foot climb. We proceeded with our usual chorus of 'No bears/badgers/angry moose/snakes/mountain lions/carcasses/etc', and began to try and name dangerous animals from A to Z. See if you can come up with anything for the following; we were stumped : 'N', 'U', 'X'.
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Partway up
the climb
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About halfway up the mountain, we stopped abrubtly and fell silent. There was a bighorn sheep reclining in the rough gravel about 20 yards above us. It is easy to think, sitting in a hotel room or imagining yourself to be a hardy and brave explorer, that only truly fierce animals like bears and mountain lions would give the hiker pause. But in reality, we found that when standing on a steeply sloped trail and encountering 150 pounds of hardy meat and bone, a mammal with horns the size of dinner plates and a rather serious expression, politeness seemed to be in order... We passed it quietly without incident.
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A storm is coming! |
When we reached the top of the mountain, it was no surprise that great views were all around. It was rather a surprise to see a large storm cloud about 4 miles away and directly upwind. Thus, our stay at the top of the mountain and on the way down we added another danger to our chants : 'No lightning'. You get more hazards for your $20 at Yellowstone than anywhere else in the USA. Halfway down the mountain, the storm caught up with us. It was not raining particularly hard, but we were both surprised to discover that every 20th raindrop arrived with a smack! rather than a plop!. Yes, another hazard: partially melted hail. Karen takes a yoga-for-pregnant-women class back in Boston; we call the group 'the roundbellies'. In all, they are a rather conservative bunch; yoga is considered quite enough excitement for the pregnant body to endure. So each time Karen's belly endures another Yellowstone hardship, we have to wonder, what would the roundbellies think? The sight of Karen at 8000 feet, clambering over a melting and slippery snowbank, racing a storm down a mountain, taking shots from semi-frozen ice chunks in the back of the head? It would not do.
